SPORTS PARENTING

School holidays has provided many parents a break from lots of kids chores such as lunches, uniforms and weekend sport as seasons take a break. Are you a parent who misses your child’s sport a little , a lot, or are you soooo glad to not have to go ,because it is always a little daunting standing with people who seem to know a lot more than you ,about what your kids are going through.  As a cricketer I always enjoyed the psychology of people and looking into WHY things happened not just WHAT happened and as a parent I am no different.

Parental emotion intrigues me everytime I stand on the sideline . The variety of  sideline styles are as diverse as those on the field and my message to supporters is simple- be aware of how you sound and what you are saying. If you  can  understand what motivates your behaviour , you can  be great value to everyone.

At a recent football match I attended there was a massive weight/size difference between two sets of junior forwards. I guess some parents didn’t even notice this , as they hollered excitedly watching the big ones steamroll the smaller ones of anxious parents.  Why they were cheering so vigorously, only they could answer. It was ugly, intimidating to the smaller players and uncalled for . It does the bigger boys no good either because things only start to count in sport when size isn’t an issue, not before.

So, what is your style?  Is it quiet, is it rowdy, is it humorous, encouraging, instructional or critical maybe of opponents, coaching or officials? Can you accept a below par performance or do you have to do something about it ? If you know which of the above are you and WHY you are like that, your awareness is good. If you don’t know why you are loud when you hit the sideline at rugby but quiet for cricket, yet critical at netball, you might need some self analysis.

 Remember, it is about them, not you as a parent . Parental nerves are useless and should be masked by enjoyment of being there. Steve Waugh and Glenn McGrath have boys in the same cricket team , their challenge is to allow the other parents to be themselves by creating a relaxed environment for all.

That’s one reason why it is good to be supporting in a  sport you don’t know as much about. I was sacked as my son’s caddy one year in a regional tournament when he was 10. “The poor little fella can’t get through 4 days without me wheeling his bag, helping him with his putts and telling him when to eat  etc etc “. After day 1 Helen says to me , “has Tom spoken to you yet?” He hadn’t ,so they broached it together.  “He would rather not have a caddy from now on, with a couple of reasons provided” “FINE “, was my hurried, shocked response as I went away to analyse the wreck. I got it immediately, he had played with just his mates all year and now this fun policeman , was helping him physically, but preventing a lot of other freedom. “Don’t swear, don’t sulk after that missed putt, no spitting the dummy, drink more water , look for your partner’s ball, keep up”  and on and on . He was good at all of that but not perfect and that’s what I was after unknowingly . My sacking was a highlight for the other dads.

The next day ,the little bugger put on a show – 39 on the front 9, everything flushed down the middle. It was hot and I knew he hadn’t touched  the lollies, sandwiches, biscuits or fruit in his bag . A missed putt on 11 and a bogey on 12 brought a tear to his eye and a swear word or two under his breath.  He shot 10 shots worse on the back nine but still won the day and the eating lesson was learned better through experience rather than a niggling dad making him eat .

All young sportspeople are learning heaps everytime they attend a training , pull on the match outfit and warm up and with every success or failure . It could be technical, physical or social but the sporting environment is unreal for teaching skills to cope . We fail more times than we succeed in sport but the ability to bounce back is natural if they love having a go. Go with them to enjoy nothing more.

WALKING IS NOT AN ANSWER

Timana Tahu’s extreme stance against the words of Andrew Johns in the last origin camp has produced very little good. Dodging the situation and making a public statement without speaking to the perpetrator first ,was so 30 years ago . Times have moved on and our Australian society is the most aware of these issues and the keenest we’ve ever been to sort it out.  Currently we are the least racist generation of Australia’s short history.

It makes me laugh , listening to politicians state Australia has never been racist or discriminatory and there has never been a place for such behaviour in Australia.

We have been terrible . Mostly unaware of the damage it causes, granted , but still terrible nonetheless. From our grandparents to  parents it has improved . Their notions  and portrayals of the Japanese as well as indigenous Aussies is surely all the  proof one needs . Unrefutable I would say.

Awareness at least is now ingrained , behaviour is definitely improving, but the rugby league scenario can still erupt when one party doesn’t think. Johns had probably overused the racial repertoire in what he thought was friendly team environment , oblivious to the offence that was brewing . There came a snapping point for the experienced Tahu, whose response was to turn his back on a team attempting the impossible and  a state hurting everywhere (not just on the sports field) . His  immediate absence from the camp was the first knowledge that he was ever offended and it was all too late to resurrect . Did he not want to fix the problem?

From there you have Tahu in the headlines, both positive and negative, Johns with a longer face the Whobegotya, standing down from his beloved coaching role, getting hammered from everywhere and the game lurching into another media battle for credibility.

What did that achieve ? In my opinion not enough for the indigenous cause. Constructive forgiveness must be the goal not blatant punishment .

Man to man conversation would have solved this one immediately . Such sporting teams would do anything for each other as long as they know how one feels. Obviously this wasn’t going to make a big enough goose of Johns for Tahu’s liking , or publicise the indigenous plight strongly . Tahu’s concern for  younger squad members, Hayne, Idris and Learoyd –Lars, was commendable but walking away did nothing to back up his words. Stay there get it sorted and ensure they were not subjected to more.

From there I suggest  , once all has been settled ,  the media could be fronted by both men to tell their story and the solution that has been found. Johns’ lazy vocabulary would improve and  his remorse would be real but not terminal. Tahu ‘s mentoring status would become esteemed ,through dealing with  offensive behaviour for the good of some up and comers as well as others like Johns, who still believe their words don’t offend. The   game would appear strong and mature just like the men who sorted it out .

Instead we got an old fashioned response , meant to punish  . The go-to man or at least a study of his actions, in this situation must be Nelson Mandela. What an absolute legend, almost God like, in his ability to develop the future rather than use the past to his people’s advantage.

Timana could have portrayed confidence in his people and their progress , improved the behaviour of a former playing legend and probably others, as well as the atmosphere of the  sport forever. He didn’t.

Finally Chris and I could find the time to both attend the annual carwash convention in Las Vegas this year. Chris attends each year and was dying to demonstrate to me  just how hard he works whilst on tour! and unfortunately he was right , racing from carwash site to site for the days leading up to the convention. Talking with business owners , suppliers of chemicals , machinery experts and technology groups who are at the cutting edge of what is happening in the industry of vehicle washing. It really is an impressive group of global contacts that Johnsy has assembled , all willing to share techniques and tactics as well as solutions to issues that seem to be be common to all continents. Therefore we dont have to make the mistake to learn, it has already been made and solved for us .

We are able to offload plenty to them too. Our point of sale system of IT always blows them away , when we show them what we can view remotely whilst away and the types of reports we can draw on to continually measure the performance of our people.

We landed in LA and barely was Chris off the plane and we were visiting the global headquarters for NS , one of the biggest wash manufacturers in the world. Thomas and Francis drove us to several of their sites which wash many times more vehicles per day than ours !! California is the home of full service carwashing , so we loved seeing what works there and how it is done.

On to SanFrancisco , a beautiful sightseeing city but we saw NONE of it as Chris had lined up Jeff Copeland to show our Aussie contingent around the carwash industry instead !! Man are there some huge sites in San Fran. Lozanos  keeps an unbelieveable  pace up all day, Matt and Jeff’s site is a ripper , a place called Divisedero touchless wash is simply crazy and the delta queen (pictured)is themed as a steam ship but moves more like a ferrari. 800 cars per day is nothing to these groups which have 2nd and 3rd generation workers who are absolute legends.

Then of course Jeff had us all to dinner for his (more likely his wife, Holly’s ) best ever ribs . They lived up to expectations. A great night.

Then to Sacramento , the home of Arnie to experience the generousity of Kelly Rielly, from Kellys carwash group. His willingness to impart his experience to us was inspiring . He began washing cars for his dad when he was 11 and  at 28  started on his own. He now has plenty of sites which are so well looked after that his 16 year old one looks no worse than his newest of a couple of years. No one knows their market better than Kelly. We had a shocker in the car heading the wrong way many times on major interstates and too much time spent on confusing on and off ramps but the day ended and a beer was enjoyed by all.

Now to Vegas to get confused by all the latest and greatest for all types of carwashing. Johnsy has spent 6 years cutting through guarantees and promises ,to settle on suppliers that we are very happy with. This year we want to improve our speed of wheel cleaning, we”re investigating barcode readers for quicker greeting and maybe we can improve our signage in certain areas. The show (as pictured ) was perfect for all areas.

Now we are back with the work of implementing new ideas ahead of us . One thing we immediately notice is the workrate and diligence of our staff. They never seem to slow when the pressure is on and we are very proud of what we have begun.

Leading Brisbane brekkie radio crew B105, decided it would be good to attempt carwashing again like in their youth when they needed money. This time the money would go to charity and we were pleased to offer them our high volume carwashing conveyor for the hour so they could raise decent money AND feel the pain of hard work once again.
Throughout their on-air week the ideas flowed and got crazier and funnier . The boys would wear bikinis , for which they needed spray tans and Camilla would learn the necessary choreography to provide a raunchy style at times for amazed customers and our legendary staff.

49 cars in the hour was an unbelieveable result and they were on fire but surprisingly when the time was up the thrill of carwashing had worn off for all 3 and departing was a high priority.
It was a tentative start, getting to know the ever moving system and procedures, due caution not to get too wet and have their tans disappear was demonstrated. This was swiftly replaced by total confidence and carefree performances, for everything around them other than the vehicle being washed. The video clearly identifies their love for the merchandise and skill level was very high. (ably supported by our legendary washbay staff)
We could have sold tickets to spectate from the cafe it was that packed as the vehicles passed bumper to bumper for the entire hour.
Great job to Labby, Camilla and Stav- funds to charity, entertainment to many and great fun for our staff who didn’t know what had hit the place, as many of them are Korean !

Australian Rugby Legend and Jetts ambassador Tim Horan Talks The talk with some of Australia’s most successful and well known sporting heroes to find out what’s going on in sport, life and more By “Taking 10 with Tim”. This issue Tim speaks with another Australian Legend in the good form of Ian Healy, and finds out what’s going on with Australian Cricket, his personal fitness regime and why he still wears that cheeky trademark smile.

Read the full Interview featured in next months Accelerate Magazine.